The Cockney Translater!

Oooooooooh, spooky...

The threshold,

I do hope you're all well and have your seats for the ensuing fun n games...
We don’t need bread, I make my own....a man cannot live by bread alone, or games it seems...

The catalyst.

The threshold.

Surely now I can relax, let a knowledgeable tell you what’s next, by name.its kinda an elephant in the butter, in the fridge.
Can’t miss it.

In a world of bullshit, the seas are particularly smelly...
If you’re lucky enough to have a shitboat you can sail them easily, I’m told remote viewers can answer any question with the facts given enough time...
Sounds like another bucket to poor in the river to flow to the sea...

Awww don’t pout, surely there’s some use for the tinfoil hat...maybe the cat could use it?

Here’s a piece of music, it comes from a person to you as a gift for the ears, aren’t musicians generous.

But don’t you find artists in general are generous...
Could be guilt, may well be, not guilt for money. Talent.
Haters make the guilt cos they can’t make anything themselves!
Who likes art?

Who buys it?

Do you really think a spray canned painting done from the wrist in a New York minute can be worth millions of pounds...?

Or, could something else be going on.

Anyway that’s for the future...

Someone just did a tiny poo in their pants and then got back to the clam chowder.

Moving on, little pushed for time these days, as you can imagine.

If I stay in one spot too long a grand piano lands there.

I went a bit silent because of a deal I was doing, it’s done, I am now autonomous, like the things that hate.
This is a pain in the arse for some and a positive boon for... others.

So now there are 153 of us left, the numbers fall quickly when you get past a certain threshold.

Those of you that have any clue, pull your finger out, for fucks sake and concentrate on doing "nothing".

Those of you that are scratching your heads, don’t.

Chill, go do the thing that you do that makes you you for a while, don’t get angry.

Those of you that can’t do either, well your gonna hate eh!, so do that.

While you’re doing it... here’s a random thought:

Learn a lesson, I have.
And trust me if I can, you can, you’ve been stuck in a groove since the eighties.
You've been sitting in the chair too long, the groove is a bum groove and ya pants stink, you need human contact of the physical kind.

Telling weird stories about people on the intrawebs is not the way to do it.
Sure it’s fun, but it’s also time consuming, an illness.
You’re working on all your genetics.
Here’s a little test for you...
In a day,
How many people do you "touch" physically...?
How many people do you talk to on the intrawebs?

Be honest.
If you can.

To the little round boy and his turquoise shirt wearing sidekick in England:

Good try, but your punching out your weight.
Go sell man drops, try and be a little less hateful.
Stop telling people to wake up, and you grow up.

A little bit of ‘of the top of the head’- arithmetic.

6.9 to 7.9 Billion people, approx., depending on your bend.
For conversations sake... even though you’re gagged by your bigotry, we will assume it’s a conversation... eh!

So let’s fall in the middle.

7 billion peeps, milling about doing their thang.

How many of them are on the intrawebs, all the time twenty four seven like you?
How many,
Once a month...
Once a year...

Now look at the huge globule... of the rich web browsers the cud chewers, the monotones, creatures of habit.
The biggest hitters are the most vacuous.

So they suck up all the new, the fast, the interesting.
They are nearly all pubescent.

The people you /I have derided.

And so lost to us, forever... almost a design isn't it?

They don’t even know your empire exists, so stop showing off, you look silly.
When they do eventually come across it, it goes no further other than a joke.

Now I know I’m not alone in the knowing this... so you have to ask yourself why.
Why doesn't the genetically capable super organism designed to overcome any obstacle, figure out to, stop, doing, it.
Again almost a design... you might think.

If you want to "change" a tree's shape the topiarist will bend it from its infancy..

Who likes

If the Youngers are cut off from the truth there is none.
Go look in your throng, your congregation...
The young in your ranks, go ask them if their peers like listening to them go on and on and on about the world and the way they /you say it is with such conviction...

'You have walked straight into a trap that is closing at break neck speed... from a universal point of view.

You’re not being made into fanatics, you act like them the more alarming you get, chicken.

You look stupid and make anyone remotely connected to anything worthwhile look stupid with you....

This is serious; it’s not about your flagging career, the low book sales...
The poor video hits, you self righteous insular pigs.

I have looked into all of you I haven't met personally, or someone like me did.
To nearly all, you were not aware, sometimes you were, depending on you... and your level of ignorance.

There are two people that I have met, that are factual.
That’s it. In all of you.


The rest are a mixture of liars, attention seekers, just poor lost souls, that have learnt from a previous career how to make a group of about, say, two hundred people look at them. You know ex management...
Big mouths...
Know alls...

That were listened to for a nano second slightly... they liked the taste .
Like a person about 42 wearing the same type of outfit they looked best in at that moment in life where it was working and it looked like you were gonna make it,
But then it went wrong somehow...
They fell off the mortgage... the death grip...
Then the pullover of life got caught on the gate post of your ex home, and it all unravelled.

So you go look for it again,

You are already indignant about your fall from host to attendee.

Your friends that once were, have quietly left you in the kitchen at parties...
So you end up on your own, at the desk surrounded by the bills... photographs... dusty awards.

And there’s the keyboard...

And the electronic courtship begins... but unlike your adolescent vibrant aware swimming mates, you have not got the wherefores to protect yourself.

They fell in the water swimming thrashing leaping...

You ...

Let’s look at some of the actual types I’ve come across... Well they hunt me out actually, but that’s another story eh! Another time boys n girls, EH!

But for the sake of example,
You have the disgruntled 35-100 year old man... as described above.

But they come in all shapes and disguises...
The angry young stoner ...
That’s really a weird and fucked loser playing make out he is still a teenager on the intrawebs.
He befriends younger people by the skin of the teeth and weirds on them, their lives, needs to be useful, but just fuckin isn’t, cant be, too fucked up... too nasty, twisted. Knicker sniffer.
Preps them by telling them horrible stories about weird shit that never happened...
Ill bring up an actual example if it dares to squeak again. See what you all think of the whole transcript, here, then court if ya like, anytime... anytime... weirdo.

Neurotic lonely women, of course the easy snipe is to say they are menopausal.
Well no they are not, that’s inconsequential...
They are lonely, pissed off.

And just need a dam good fuck!! Mostly...
Its a shame...

Of course some get stuck with an ignorant backward coward that talks big indoors but does nothing ... except bully them...
Of course the manipulation by the victim in the form of goading total lies to the ignorant spouse, doesn’t help.
Love grows to hate and the two receded into there separate corners and the dabbling in others existence begins...
The obsession.

I will back that up to the right people that understand what they are reading (research by others for me) in court if need be.

But these poor lost peeps are not important, the gurus they empower are.


And don’t bother telling your researchers that you don’t read every word.
We have tagged you all.
The little quiet talks at the hotdog stand, the quick check of the cubicles in the toilets.
Desperate Plagiarists at my demand.
And you fuckin know
Don’t you... lol.
We can prove it, wanna play ?
Tell you what, if you doubt your guru, go back and look what they said and when and dooooo your homework at who said what first...

They are repeaters while keeping the source as quiet as possible...

We have watched everything you do...

Now the truth of actuality is going to make complete fools of you all...
One by one...

It’s over...
The truth for you all.

Not everyone is on the intrawebs, the ones that are have a privilege paid for with the skin n bones... of others less fortunate in the geographic birth lottery, we have created.
The ones that need to be online but aren't, fun that innit.
So you have a privilege of birth over another...human, you owe them your life, your grandparents do, etc.
But no.
You use it for your own frivolous self serving shite...
Then say you need money to keep it going...


Stop assuming things, open your corn fed eyes...


The Cockney Translater is changing...
The staff are packed and ready to leave for the island.
The server is impregnable... (some guys in a bunker just said, wtf did he just say, lol).
Then the truth day by day, week by week, blow by blow.

Form ordinary people, well situated ..
Just you bods out there,
not everyone believes what your gurus preach some have a nose for things that stink, or balls, take ya pick.
A different person every-time.
Can’t cut the head off, if it already is.

No guru...
No leader.
Using their names (GUTS) and standing up.
Socialist!!!! Fuck you, I'm a travelling man, I like fun too much, lol... nah ...

Not that easy this time, if anyone would like to take part, well the email is below, ya never know...

The Threshold has been reached...

What comes next gurus...

Do tell us all....


And don’t get it wrong, not this time...

Cos if you ain’t seen, you ain’t gonna...

And it’s you won’t be able to wriggle...

Slide slip slime your way out...
For an example see some of the following anything on youtube.

But no, you can’t miss this, and you don’t know...

Oh dear... lol.

So off you go into the quiet place... To read back, add up, lol... Idiots.

When you get home and you go up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, alone, bemused , you go to bed, out comes the lotion and the tissues, no, no, it’s not going to be your proudest comfort FAP! Lol.

Me, well l am a dinosaur,

A Cuntasaurous Rex..
So I’m just gonna do the BBQing vaguely recall people and suck boiled sweets (english) also I'm sure I will make people laugh at my childlike incompetence.

It just occurred to me that you think I’m talking to you here, no, sorry.
I am teasing a select few,

So most of you can fuck off back to whatever fantasy makes you feel good... in your knowledge.
You’re not needed, you can repeat and watch... It’s all you’re good for.

That and talking in endless circles achieving nothing but slack jaw...

The others, thanks for the confidence, I used to feel it was misplaced until last night...
Nice one.
You know I have nothing to lose, lol.
A pre requisite.

So we did, war, the killing choice,

The next subject to address is ...


Oh, I think the methane count just spiked in Whitehall.
Certain factions will be pleased.

As for the punch n Judy show in America, what of it, they’re done.

I do like NASA's NEW idea of getting to the moon...
They sort of did what car manufacturers do, lol.
Slight facelift.
But will it ever lift off...


CERN, is much further down the road, aren't they?
Storage is all that’s needed, now.
What an amazing energy some people have. Don’t you think?

So chin up all, you’re only human after

Nearly forgot... if I have run into you before, I don’t care, fuck off, if I wanted to still know you, I would.
Get over it.
Grow up.
We are all very lucky to be here, be happy with that fact alone, it’s a gift, life, go get on wiv it,eh!
There’s a little button in the corner when it all gets too much,
Push it!
Go outside get some natural sunlight... and no, don’t lie and say you do, ffs.
And don’t, take, one, selfie, then delete your "accunt on facebook".
It’s for children, people with low self esteem and drones. Obviously!

Who wants a broken heart, anyone who's never had one.


The keeper,
The next dinner is planned.
Your invitation is on its way.
Thank you.
As always communication to the email only.
Look forward to seeing you all.

PS, (from behind the now closed gate)
Hello to Judy Dick n Andy
Keep up the good work.
If it gets a bit hairy, contact me, I know a good stylist...