The Cockney Translater!

Howz it going fellow gong show fanatics?

How ya liking the play so far?

Oops, seems like I touched a nerve all over the birdcage.

Everyone is squawking,

The plagiarism should be obvious from the dates...

And now Miss Dismay has panicked, nah, she has not panicked at all.

She is securing a vote before she can’t,

Her and Trumpy are going to war...

Unless a better crowd puller comes along.

Ya never know, maybe the internet is about to be voted in...

You know,

Or are we going to keep avoiding the elephant in the room?

The fact that the intrawebs have been capable and have been voting on everything from titwanks to tiddleywinks?

So why don’t we vote on the subject,

After Miss Dismay, even Trumpy has embraced the twat, oops,

No pun intended, pussy grabbing aside...

Miss Dismay may well let the electronic world grab a vote section, the millennials are going to get a big say, sooooo they all know aunty has listened ,

Their electronic vote is going to be oh so important.

The most important from a media pair of shoes, after all their business has a five year shelf life with financial steroids just like everyone else’s.

Yes the young the inexperienced the confused by news, facts wiv cracks...

Is it real, is it not?

Yeah they are a good bunch to let firecrackers off next to.

The firecrackers don’t scare, they ooooooze, smooooooze...

Ooooh you’re soooo clever electronic voter, you’re sooooo uber-informed...

And we can soooooo manipulate you through your ego...

You look great, vote here...ok.

The joke of it all is, Alex and his cronies got away with it, they were steered to it...

By the string pullers they didn't notice in their lives...

The man whispering in the wife's ear...

The ego stroked by the quiet anonymous compliment...

Electronic voters, the new flagship...

Eventually when everyone agrees how well it’s gone, even against the screams it didn’t, they will make it all electronic, one way or another.

We will vote weakly, maybe bi-weekly for or against, views stood up,

A quicker non choice...

Ask any salesman, time is of the essence.

Mr Bill Gates’ purchase of a long time ago has been forgotten by all, but not us.


When he paid a silky price for Skype, he got some licence...

Now he will give away phones that aren’t phones.

They are 'do as I want'-ray guns.

Zap, in your area, just how the metadata says you should be zapped.

All in a nano second, like the binary platform that smoothed out the markets...

The algorithms of the new rhythm.

The farming algorithm,

What result do you want Sir...?

Sign here, no you don't have to pay now.

We will take points on your deal.

Cleaner than compromising photographs.

Business like, less white collar crimmy.

Click vote time peeps.

All media is a mess.

Turned out perfectly...

Only you and your battery powered brain, where you get everything.

Most wont realise they have dowhatiwantgoggles on.

Most don’t even know to answer.

Don’t know what united stance is.

Then history in books will be re-written for the modern vernacular...


Who needs a globe when you have a web to get caught in?

Egos can count on that.